1 Corinthians 7:29-31 What I mean, brothers, is that TIME IS SHORT. From now on those WHO HAVE WIVES SHOULD LIVE AS IF THEY HAD NONE; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of this world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
The honeymoon was over. As a young wife of just a little over a year after our marriage and with a four month old baby to take care of, I felt abandonment. A friend of mine had called a month early and by the sound of my voice, she stated this in concern. ‘Gladwell, you sound so tired and depressed.’ Of course, I quickly reassured her that things were fine. But were they really? That I can’t answer for sure. One thing was certain: MY HUSBAND was still madly in love with me…but I wanted more, more love and as hard as he tried to, it wasn’t enough, or so it seemed. Then one early morning, I got up to do business with GOD. My tears, anguish and fears mingled all together as I laid my heart before him. And before long… I journaled this letter to Him.
FIRST THINGS FIRST
Lord, now it seems too clear to me than ever before what has been the reason for our many misunderstandings. First of all, I haven’t desired or wanted You so badly for a long time! Instead, I have devoted all my energies and attention to my husband, expecting him to love me as You do. But one thing I have found is: He loves me not exclusively but differently in a special way as You intended a man to love his wife. He loves me as he only can with an imperfect heart and his human faults. He also loves other people; our daughter, his parents and siblings and my family back in Kenya…and all of them differently.
Forgive me, dear Father for wanting his love to replace Yours. Now I know better. Help me to understand him as he is. I also know now that YOUR LOVE IS PERFECT, not only for me but for each and every human being that You created. You love me perfectly not more or less than any other human being. Most of all, You loved me long before I was born and long after I will be gone! You love me NOT AN IOTA LESS WHEN I SIN OR AN IOTA MORE WHEN I AM ON THE RIGHT TRACK. Lord, help me always to seek, rely and pant after YOUR NEVER CHANGING LOVE! You are MY FATHER, ABBA THROUGH JESUS CHRIST, MY BROTHER.
Your imperfect but loving daughter,
Five years on, I can only say…MY MARRIAGE IS BEAUTIFUL. And for you out there, my advice:
Relinquish your hold on your husband or wife and let the Lord SOBER UP your marriage. He did that for me and He will do it for yours!