A HANDSOME MAN FORGOTTEN

Genesis 39:6-7… Now Joseph was WELL-BUILT and HANDSOME, and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me!”

Genesis 40:23 The chief cupbearer, however, did not REMEMBER Joseph; he FORGOT him.

You are a Godly young man…hardworking, handsome and yes, a visionary with the future before you. The favorite of your father among many brothers. Your daddy makes you a coat of many colors which makes your stand out among the crowd. But the worst part of it all is you love to dream…and retell your dreams to a not very enthusiastic audience. YOUR NAME IS JOSEPH.

And while from the outside, everything seems to be going well, things are brewing from the inside. Before you know it…you are a SLAVE in a foreign country. But while you are not free…the things of nature still take their course. Oh…YOU ARE NOW A FINE HANDSOME YOUNG MAN…and a married woman cannot resist you. But you have not changed a bit. Your values are still intact. But this time, from the outside, everything seems to be going wrong, but things from the inside are unusual calm. Before you know it….you are a PRISONER paying for a crime you never committed. But while you are not free…the things of God take their purposed cause. Oh…YOU ARE NOW AN INTERPRETER OF DREAM…and a cupbearer is restored to his position. But your position is unchanged. Your existence is soon FORGOTTEN.

HURTING FOR OTHERS

John 11:35 Jesus wept.

EMPATHY…is the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person’s feelings. In other words, HURTING FOR OTHERS is empathy. So here we go.

I have heard more times than I could care to count that John 11:35 is the shortest verse in the entire bible. But you see, in the effort to rationalize this verse, the most important lesson can easily be missed: When Jesus wept means more than just tears of sympathy. HIS TEARS SAYS, YOUR PAIN IS MY PAIN. But let’s get the basis of this story.

They are a family of THREE SINGLE ADULTS; the two sisters, Mary and Martha and Lazarus, their brother. They are known to Jesus personally. And yes, Lazarus who is loved by Jesus is lying down in his sickbed. Word is sent out to Jesus that his friend needs him. Instead of going there in time to touch and heal him, he delays on purpose. Oh yes, he was very much aware that Lazarus could soon be dead. Yet when he finally got there, with Lazarus already in the tomb, he wept. For a long time, I was puzzled by this scenario. Why?

MARRIED BUT UNLOVED

Genesis 29:30-31 Jacob lay with Rachel also, and HE LOVED RACHEL MORE THAN LEAH. And he worked for Laban another seven years. When the Lord saw the Leah was NOT LOVED, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren.

LEAH in Hebrew means WEARY, TIRED, TENDER or WEAK.

A simple question for the single person. At what state are you approaching the idea of marriage?
For the married person. At what state did you enter into your marriage? Let’s put some substance into the above questions from the example of Leah’s love story in Genesis 29

Here is Leah, daughter of Laban. Leah had WEAK EYES and most probably unattractive, unlike her younger sister, Rachel who was lovely in form and beautiful. According to their custom, the younger sister could not get married before her elder sister. So here we see a problem. Even through the bible does not mention it, it is most probable that Rachel had many suitors. But NO, none of them were interested in her sister Leah. Hence, right from the start, Leah was always DISADVANTAGED. Not only because she was physically unattractive, but she was seen as

THE BLEEDING ISSUES

Luke 8:43-44 And a woman was there who been subject to BLEEDING FOR TWELVE YEARS, but no-one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and IMMEDIATELY HER BLEEDING STOPPED.

Every woman can agree with me on this one. The first sign that one is ready for motherhood comes when a woman receives her first menstrual discharge, which occurs frequently in early teen years. And while it is one thing to bleed between 3-7 days a month, it is another to go through a 24/7 cycle for an agonizing twelve years…Yes, TWELVE PAINSTAKING

THE NEGLECTED BUNCH

Isaiah 54: 1-2 “Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labour; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the Lord
ENLARGE THE PLACE OF YOUR TENT, stretch your tent curtains wide, DO NO HOLD BACK lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.

Single-hood is the most neglected topic on the Christian church agenda. Why, because being single is seen as the WAIT AND SEE period in a young adult’s life. Of course, there is expectation that with time, you will finally hook up with someone and the wedding bells will ring. But truth be said, that’s not always the case. At times, it takes longer and longer for this to come to be. At best, the church is equipped to meet the needs of the waiting 20 something year olds, in college or fresh from college starting out on their careers. Then they hit their 30s but still, nothing. The programs to reach out to this bunch become few and few. And hence with time…THE SILENCE begins. By keeping quiet, the Christian community hopes against hope that things will soon work out by themselves.

THE SAMARITAN WOMAN

John 4:16-18 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.” “I have no husband,” she replied. Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is QUITE TRUE.

Very strange. Just imagine yourself having a conversation with a perfect stranger who suddenly asks you to go and call your husband. What would be your reaction? Yes, I am addressing this to you as a single person. Would you, like the Samaritan woman quickly respond or perhaps feel awkward that some stranger is intruding into your private affairs? Single people too have their own issues. Not long ago, I was also single. I went through it all; the heartache of a painful breakup, the cruelty and frustration of lacking reassurance while in a relationship. Once, someone told me after three years of friendship that I had imagined up our relationship. So more or less, if Jesus would have come at my well, my story would have as well replicated that of the Samaritan woman.

THE PAIN OF REJECTION

Matthew 1:18-19 THIS IS HOW THE BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST CAME ABOUT: his mother Mary was pledged to be married to Jesus, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and he did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind TO DIVORCE HER QUIETLY.

This is the true account of the CHRISTMAS STORY: Two lovers…Joseph and Mary, after going through courtship, Joseph finally makes up his mind. Mary, a simple and humble young woman has won his heart. The engagement takes place and a wedding is in sight. But before their D-day….something happens. The angel of the Lord appears to Mary with some frightening NEWS; You will be with child…no, not with Joseph but through the HOLY SPIRIT. Mary, though frightened at first, takes in the news with humility and submits herself to God. But not so with Joseph.

FOR THE SINGLES ON THE LOOKOUT

Genesis 24:12-14 Then he prayed, “O Lord, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. SEE, I AM STANDING beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a girl, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’ – let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.

Let me start out with asking you two questions? Who chooses a spouse for you? How can you know for sure that this person whom you have in mind, when you finally meet will be the one set apart for you? Tough questions…one which seem too difficult or complicated for a single answer, you may say. And in a way, I do agree with you. Choosing or looking out for the right marriage partner….a LIFETIME PARTNER for that matter is no easy task…not even for the so-called experts. YET…in spite of the difficulties, one thing is for sure: THE REWARDS OF FINDING THE RIGHT PARTNER will soon overshadow whatever difficulties you encountered along the way.

Of course, unlike Isaac, we have the liberty to go looking out for the marriage partners of our choice and likings. But for the Christian…much has not changed. You see, when Abraham sent his servant to go and get Isaac a wife…he know that the angel of the Lord had gone before him and the rest came out from the servant initiative. When he arrived at the spring…he prayed to God and shortlisted the candidate for Isaac with a sign. Before long…REBEKAH showed up and the rest is history.

Many years back before I met my husband, I too did shortlist the qualities I desired in my future spouse…and when he showed up, I knew he was the one God had handpicked for me. Every single quality I had listed down matched up to him perfectly. And these are the qualities:

– Must love the Lord
– Should be a worshipper
– Diligent…a finisher
– Gentle
– Loves children

For my single friends out there…REMEMBER: GOD CHOOSES YOUR SPOUSE and HE leaves it upon you to choose the qualities you desire in your spouse. If you have not complied a list…do so today and see what God will do with it. HE IS WAITING TO READ FROM YOU!

A LETTER FROM GOD

1 Corinthians 7:32, 34 I would like you to be free from concern. An UNMARRIED man is concerned about the Lord’s affair – how he can please the Lord. …An unmarried woman or VIRGIN is concerned about the Lord’s affairs; Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.

Years ago, I came across this letter in a Christian book which truly blessed my heart and hope will bless yours too.

Everyone longs to give himself or herself to someone; to have a deep soul relationship with another…to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But to the CHRISTIAN, God says, “NO, not yet; not without being loved by ME alone; with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me – to having an intensely personal and unique relationship with ME alone.”

I love you, My child, and until you discover that your satisfaction is to be found only in ME, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship I have planned for you. You will not be unified with each other until you are united with me exclusively. I want you to stop; stop wishing, stop planning and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan in existence, the one that you can’t imagine.

I want you to have the BEST. Please allow ME to bring it to you… Just keep watching, expecting the greatest things. Keep expecting that satisfaction, knowing that I AM. Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry . Don’t look around at the things you think you want. You just keep looking away and up to ME, or you will miss what I have to show you.

Then when you are ready, I will surprise you with love more exciting and wonderful than any you could ever dream of. You see, until you are ready – I am working this minute to have you both ready at the same time – until you are both ready, you won’t be able to experience the LOVE that amplifies your relationship with ME, and to enjoy the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love I offer you with yourself.

KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU UTTERLY. I AM GOD ALMIGHTY. BELIEVE ME AND BE SATISFIED.

This letter saved my life and I believe it can save yours….KEEP YOUR EYES ABOVE!

A VOW AND A MEMORIAL

Judges 11:35, 39 When he saw her, he tore his clothes and cried, “Oh! My daughter! You have made me miserable and wretched, because I have make a VOW to the Lord that I cannot break. After two months, she returned to her father and he did to her as he had vowed. And she was a VIRGIN.

Did it have to end up so tragically, you may wonder just like I do. Let’s go back to the storyline in Judges 11. Here is Jephthah, the Gileadite who is a might warrior. Israel’s enemies, the Ammonites are causing them some trouble. Inevitably, they have to go for war. Jephthah heeds the call of duty…and advances on the frontline. But before things get too thick and messy, Jephthah quickly makes a vow unto the Lord, “If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in truimph from the Ammonites will be the Lord’s and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.” And the rest is history. His daughter was the first one to meet him at the door and consequently, she had to die UNMARRIED.

Suppose Jephthah lived in our days? The news headlines would probably read like this:

A RELIGIOUS FANATICAL KILLS DAUGHTER TO APPEASE HIS GOD

The experts would be called to analyse the situation. The public opinion would be sought to try to cub down on religious fanatism. And the lawmakers will be working behind the scenes to make amendments on laws on religious freedom. But whatever the case, Jephthah nonetheless did fulfill his vow to the Lord. Had he thought the matter more carefully, he would have perhaps specified the ‘whatever’ by naming an animal. But he didn’t, and it was too late for such thoughts. The ‘whatever’ happened to be HIS OWN DAUGHTER.

For you as a single person, you might find yourself today in the same place as Jephtath’s daughter. You desire to get married, but other circumstances beyond you seem to work against you. You pray, you fast, you go for the singles conferences or whatever else to increase the possibility of meeting your second half. But still nothing happens. While it is true, you may be single by choice or my circumstances beyond you…one thing is for sure: this is the Lord’s promise for the singles Isaiah 56:4-5 For this is what the Lord says:
“To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose what pleases me and hold fast my covenant to them I will give within my temple and its walls A MEMORIAL and A NAME better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that will not be cut off.

Despite the hurried vows of Jephthah, to this day in Israel, each year young women go out for four days to COMMEMORATE the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite. The Lord is still faithful to His promise. He desires to make your name great even in YOUR SINGLEHOOD.